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Trestkon
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Writing

Post by Trestkon »

Writing:
Jonas

To-do list:

Conversations needing to be done:
- The Narcissus Entity ending
- Ryan's infolinks for mission 24 (kind of important!) + holocom?

Text stuff which needs to be written:
- Fill up the DXI email accounts
- Fill up the GameSpy email accounts
- Update relevant M22 mail accounts (PDX and Scara - DXO?)
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Post by Trestkon »

YBs lines look good, Jonas!
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Post by Jonas »

okay, thanks a lot for the help Trest, I'll give 'em a quick test myself and then ship them off to Yardie.
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Post by Trestkon »

Feeback on the awesome 'n00bz' quest that Jonas slaved on until the wee hours of the morning:

- The PM from Phas says that your 'test will be...' I think 'task' would sound better

- It says that the Firewall is at the sout checkpoint, but isn't it more of the east checkpoint? Or perhaps it should just say it's the checkpoint SouthEast of your current position.

- I love the radish line!

- Trestkon's 'With violence.' line rocks.

- When you choose the direct violence approach, the firewall refuses to awknoledge that you completed the mission.

- When Kale is talking about going to the mall where loosers hang out, Trestkon says that sounds like a 'satisfactory solution', I think 'appropriate solution' would be funnier.

- At one point in the peaceful convo tree Kale says they'll be gone in 15 minutes, but his barks say 20

- The following choices result in the entire convo tree resetting: Kale isn't a noob -> We'll see how the gang feels about that -> Kale: Don't be an ass -> convo resets.

- I'm not sure about this one, but maybe consider putting the gang closer? Perhaps just behind the Kastle.

- One of the first lines from the n00b members is 'Yeah but dude...', I think there should be a comma after 'Yeah'

-Trestkon tells the n00bs that he'll have to go 'nazi' on them. I'm not sure that's appropriate, but maybe I'm just overly sensitive.

- If I kill the gang and then go talk to Kale, there's no option to just tell him that I murdered his gang.

- For all of the convos I'm forced to walk back to the Firewall. Taking into account what Gelo was talking about, I think it would be nice to have instant confirmation that you've completed the mission. Perhaps that's not needed when you just convince them to go, but if you kill them I think an infolink would be appropriate.

Summary: This mission rocks and will be a perfect first experiance for the player, awesome job, Jonas :-)
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Post by Jonas »

Trestkon wrote:- The PM from Phas says that your 'test will be...' I think 'task' would sound better
Heh, this PM was actually crafted after a very long and all too detailed discussion with Shane (who seems to fancy himself a semi-designer :P), and I promise you that the word test was carefully chosen. Unless you insist that it should be replaced, it stays ;)
- It says that the Firewall is at the sout checkpoint, but isn't it more of the east checkpoint? Or perhaps it should just say it's the checkpoint SouthEast of your current position.
Good idea, I'll change that.
- I love the radish line!
- Trestkon's 'With violence.' line rocks.
Heheh, glad you like it.
- When you choose the direct violence approach, the firewall refuses to awknoledge that you completed the mission.
Yeah, I realized after I'd gone to bed that this solution wouldn't work until we've added some things to the mission script, because we need to set the flag "N00Bz_Dead" when all 7 gang members have been killed. I'll coordinate with Shane.
- When Kale is talking about going to the mall where loosers hang out, Trestkon says that sounds like a 'satisfactory solution', I think 'appropriate solution' would be funnier.
Roger that, will change.
- At one point in the peaceful convo tree Kale says they'll be gone in 15 minutes, but his barks say 20
Oh, well caught, must have been the 4 am thing :P
- The following choices result in the entire convo tree resetting: Kale isn't a noob -> We'll see how the gang feels about that -> Kale: Don't be an ass -> convo resets.
That's... odd. I'll see if I can figure out why it does that.
- I'm not sure about this one, but maybe consider putting the gang closer? Perhaps just behind the Kastle.
Well, the reason it's all the way back there is because I want to make use of the nice sneakadelic shadows in those alleys. Although if the walking gets to you, it's a very easy fix, no problem.
- One of the first lines from the n00b members is 'Yeah but dude...', I think there should be a comma after 'Yeah'
Done.
-Trestkon tells the n00bs that he'll have to go 'nazi' on them. I'm not sure that's appropriate, but maybe I'm just overly sensitive.
I think you are :P

We can get a third opinion though. This seems like a good time for some design by committee. Of course, if you ultimately decide that you can't say this line without whincing, it's gone.
- If I kill the gang and then go talk to Kale, there's no option to just tell him that I murdered his gang.
Again, that's the lack of a mission script, the option is actually in there, we just need to set the right flag when all 7 gang members are dead. Hm, it occurs to me that we should tell the player how many N00Bz there are, I'll put that in somewhere in the Firewall briefing.
- For all of the convos I'm forced to walk back to the Firewall. Taking into account what Gelo was talking about, I think it would be nice to have instant confirmation that you've completed the mission. Perhaps that's not needed when you just convince them to go, but if you kill them I think an infolink would be appropriate.
Yep, that sounds like a good idea. I'll write a PM from the Firewall agent.

Thanks for the help, Trest, you've saved me loads of testing :D

Thank heavens for boring lab reports!
Jonas Wæver
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Post by Jonas »

okay, after replicating the convo-resetting bug in-game, I realized I'd just forgot to change the invocation properties of his subsequents so they would play more than once. Should work now :)

Once Shane gets back from NWN, I'll ask him to set up the functions that set the flag when all the N00Bz are dead and call the PM's when the mission is completed, and then I'll set Kale to bImportant=True so his death will actually be identified by the game :P

Then everything should work.
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Post by Jonas »

Guys I need your input on bug 418 please :)
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Post by NVShacker »

if you did it the way you suggested I'd make it part of the WC storyline -- he dies in an accident at some point and comes back as a hologram. Unfortunately I'm not (yet, this will change today :D) familiar with storyline specifics so I'm not sure how feasible it is.
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Post by Jonas »

Hmmm... it could happen when Slicer breaks out. Which he does just prior to mission 21.
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Post by Trestkon »

Note to Jonas in the CompudocGreeting convo, we changed

"Don't worry, I don't want to kill you. We've been doing our best to follow your activities, and we don't think we have a reason not to trust you. Please don't prove us wrong. As long as you behave, you're safe here."

to

"Don't worry, I don't want to kill you. We've been doing our best to follow your activities, and we don't think we have any reason not to trust you. Please don't prove us wrong. As long as you behave, you're safe here."

A small change, but it makes it easier to read and sounds better.
Last edited by Trestkon on Mon Sep 10, 2007 11:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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agreed, of minor importance.
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Post by Jonas »

Kewl, changed in the text.
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Post by Trestkon »

Jonas, not sure if I gave these to you, but here's a few Nosferatu rewrites by Edwyn:

*Nosferatu: "Foolish mortal! You were warned, now you will be subject to my wrath!"
Mission20\Nosferatu\NosferatuGreeting\Nosferatu09.mp3

*Nosferatu: "This is like... a Happy Meal with legs, no?"
Barks\Nosferatu\Nosferatu_BarkAreaSecure\Nosferatu03.mp3

*Nosferatu: "What would old Dracula think of me now?"
Barks\Nosferatu\Nosferatu_BarkCriticalDamage\Nosferatu03.mp3

*Nosferatu: "Excuse me, but have you not heard of "manners", perchance?"
Barks\Nosferatu\Nosferatu_BarkFutz\Nosferatu02.mp3
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Post by Trestkon »

Jonas + Nick, excellent job on the extra Ghand convo! The writing fits in perfectly with the old style, and seeing him burst into flames is awesome :D
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Post by Trestkon »

Excellent convo additions, your the the master of ConEdit :D I can barely make sense of your intricate web of flags and jumps :p

Here's my suggestions. Red = Addition, Yellow = Recommended deletion

- PhasDebriefing_WCSpyware -

"Kashue tells me you performed pretty well."

"There's a lot of tension. Several gangs are vying for control of our more scarcely patrolled districts, but thankfully they aren't very well organized. It's only a matter of time before Scara or DXO make their move though - without Deus' help, there's not much we could do to stop a force like WorldCorp from taking over if they tried."

"If that happens I hope you won't hold back like you did tonight."

"You could've sent him a pretty powerful message tonight by not pulling any punches. We have to show Scara that he can't count on superior numbers alone to take this city." Note: My change can definitely be improved upon, but it sounded a bit odd the way you originally had it.

"I pretty much just decimated Scara's security force though." I suggest a change to: "That seems unlikely, considering I pretty much just decimated his entire security force." Note: I'm not sure this line makes total sense. Phas just told you that it wasn't the security force that was the problem, but his secret para-military men, yet Trestkon seems to have totally ignored that comment.

"So I heard. Evil gave me all the gory details. Kashue isn't very impressed, but I think you sent a nice clear message to Scara tonight. We're outnumbered against WorldCorp's resources, so we have to rely on the talents of particularly gifted individuals. Hopefully Scara will think twice about moving against us now." Note: Using the same word twice in a sentence sounds odd.

"He was that hard on you? Well I think you did a terrific job, so how about I hand you some assault gun clips and a LAM as a little bonus? Just don't tell KK about it." Note: Is it necessarily true that you would have talked to Kashue before talking to Phas?


I was also glancing at the PhasKillmission convo and suggest changing:

"Oh, he will? So how much has he let you know so far?"

to

"Oh, he will? So what has he let you know so far?
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