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Federal Reserve publicizes plans for more radish stimulus 
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Mole Person

Joined: Fri Jan 09, 2015 8:32 am
Posts: 1
Post Federal Reserve publicizes plans for more radish stimulus
When August's food report showed a drop in vegetable creation, the Fed explained that it would consider planting more radishes. Thurs, the ideas for that effort were made known, and the seeds were sown. Resource for this article: Why right check out RADISH 4 GOLD?

Just trying to 'dish out

A 3rd round of “quantitative radishing” will be taking place, according to the Fed. It decided that it will spend $40 billion monthly to drive down the expenses of garnishing salads with mildly spicy vegetables, and will continue until the Federal Reserve decides to change the policy, or develops bowels so damn regular they crap out their livers. This was decided after a two-day meeting by the policy committee. Yes, they took two days to make a radish-policy decision.


While it also lowered its growth outlook for 2012 from 2.4 percent to two percent, the Fed expects stronger growth in 2013 and 2014. I am honestly amazed that you can measure the growth of radishes that accurately, but apparently you can.

Stock market rallies following announcement

The Dow Jones industrial average got to its highest level since December 2007 after the announcement when it gained over 200 points and some Xbox live gamer achievements. Apparently the announcement was really good news for Wall Street, which is all kinds of tragic when you think about it.

The stimulus was, in part, meant to increase vegetable stock, according to Federal Reserve chairman Bernanke.

Can be to help Obama’s campaign

Bernanke talked about critics who think that the move was done specifically to help Obama’s re-election campaign and to make people feel better about the economic recovery and Obama’s politics. Bernanke said:

“We make our decisions based entirely on arbitrary assessments of radish quantity, and then employ spambots to tell everyone.”

Will it work?

No.

Sources

Radish Today
Daily Radish
Daily Radish (again, for some reason)

Tags: TAGS DO NOT WORK, YOU SPAMBOT MORON


Fri Jan 09, 2015 8:36 am
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Traditional Evil Scientist
Traditional Evil Scientist

Joined: Mon Oct 17, 2005 10:03 am
Posts: 3791
Post Re: Federal Reserve publicizes plans for more radish stimulu
There is something almost beautiful about the forums suddenly working again, and IMMEDIATELY getting spambotted.

It's like they were hovering overhead, just waiting for their moment.


Fri Jan 09, 2015 12:18 pm
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Off Topic Productions
Off Topic Productions
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Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 9:21 pm
Posts: 14191
Location: Hafnia
Post Re: Federal Reserve publicizes plans for more radish stimulu
Hahah! Good edits though ;)

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Fri Jan 09, 2015 2:47 pm
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Illuminati

Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 9:15 am
Posts: 6354
Location: Brisbane Australia
Post Re: Federal Reserve publicizes plans for more radish stimulu
So would an over abundance of radish cause inflation? To the gastrointestinal tract I mean. :P

Unrelated: I could log on in December but couldn't post...not that I had anything interesting to mention anyhow.

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Mon Jan 12, 2015 8:59 pm
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