Off Topic Productions

I also love how they have all these specialist graphic programmes that do exactly what they want instead of some glasses wearing, long bearded, pony tailed guy shoved in a back room with MS Paint.

Phasmatis wrote:I also love how they have all these specialist graphic programmes that do exactly what they want instead of some glasses wearing, long bearded, pony tailed guy shoved in a back room with MS Paint.

Yeah! Like why do they insist on typing on a screen where theres no where to bloody type! Let me demonstrate -

*image on monitor of someones face*

*clickity clickity clickity*

>>there by typing in some random letters rather violently on my keyboard ive invoked a routine to match that face to one in the database and ALL WITHOUT USING THE SEARCH FORM! I rulez.

Okay so we've been over Caruso's insufferably smugness and the often rather unplausible use of science. BUT! What's with the fucking forensics handling the questioning and arresting of suspects? Wouldn't it be cool if they would actually just PROOVE a murder once in a while and leave it to the courts to handle the rest instead of relying on suspects breaking down and delivering a full confession each and every episode!?

"We have found your shoe-print 50 meters down the street from the crime scene!"
"OH GOD I CONFESS I DID IT I KILLED HER PLEASE LOCK ME AWAY FOR LIFE."
*Insert smug comment from David Caruso about how crime doesn't pay.*

Also, it's an unwritten rule that ANY program that compares things, be it faces, fingerprints, numberplates, serial numbers, hell: even DNA sequences...

MUST do so by VISIBLY iterating through all the possible options, even though in most cases this would necessitate a truly horrifying amount of texture caching/memory.

Also, it must make a gentle 'blip' noise each time a new image loads up.

DDL wrote:Also, it's an unwritten rule that ANY program that compares things, be it faces, fingerprints, numberplates, serial numbers, hell: even DNA sequences...

MUST do so by VISIBLY iterating through all the possible options, even though in most cases this would necessitate a truly horrifying amount of texture caching/memory.

Also, it must make a gentle 'blip' noise each time a new image loads up.

Absolutely!

Tell me Sir - did Columbo have such jiggery pokery? I think not. Damn it the man couldnt even figure the workings of a fax machine but my God he knew how to outsmart the villian!

Same goes for Jessica Fletcher but lets not start that old chestnut of a conversation again lol.

Quincy was another one, sure he was preachy and didn't like the young'ns listening to rock music but it was a great show.

"Welcome to the most fascinating sphere of police work..."
Doo doo doo dooo dooooooo
*interns faint*
Doo doo doo dooo dooooooo doo doo doooooo
"...Forensic medicine”
Dooo di doo di dooo dooo dooo doo dooo dodo dodoood dii dooooo
*Quincy looking at a body*
*Camera zooms out*
Oh it’s a live sexy woman.
Doooo diii dooo dodo dooo doo dii dodooo doood deee deee dooo
Dooo dooo dooo dooo dun!

Every week he would get a law passed or at least argue with congress.

COME ON SAM!!

Jonas wrote:Okay so we've been over Caruso's insufferably smugness and the often rather unplausible use of science. BUT! What's with the fucking forensics handling the questioning and arresting of suspects? Wouldn't it be cool if they would actually just PROOVE a murder once in a while and leave it to the courts to handle the rest...

I've never understood that, what do the cops actually do? The CSI's seem to be forensic experts/detectives and jury most of the time. On CSI New York the cops are involved a little more but still it's usually the CSI's that do all the work.

Yeah, every Bruckheimer TV crime-show is complete and total fiction with no basis in reality whatsoever.

I'll take my Columbo any day. That was seriously one of the greatest shows ever written. COLUMBO!!! WHY DID I HAVE TO SEE ALL OF YOUR EPISODES??? There's no more to see now... I have no reason to LIVE!

Hey I love CSI, I thought I made that clear.

But that doesn't make it any less silly, when you think about it. The trick to enjoying it is not thinking about it. I'm good at that

DDL wrote:Also, it's an unwritten rule that ANY program that compares things, be it faces, fingerprints, numberplates, serial numbers, hell: even DNA sequences...

MUST do so by VISIBLY iterating through all the possible options, even though in most cases this would necessitate a truly horrifying amount of texture caching/memory.

Also, it must make a gentle 'blip' noise each time a new image loads up.

What, you mean a search would be faster without displaying the pictures? BUT THEN HOW WOULD THE MAGIC COMPUTER BOX LOOK AT THEM?