Writing
Moderator: TNM Team
- Trestkon
- Off Topic Productions
- Posts: 2820
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 9:03 pm
- Location: Canada
- Contact:
Writing
Writing:
Jonas
To-do list:
Conversations needing to be done:
- The Narcissus Entity ending
- Ryan's infolinks for mission 24 (kind of important!) + holocom?
Text stuff which needs to be written:
- Fill up the DXI email accounts
- Fill up the GameSpy email accounts
- Update relevant M22 mail accounts (PDX and Scara - DXO?)
Jonas
To-do list:
Conversations needing to be done:
- The Narcissus Entity ending
- Ryan's infolinks for mission 24 (kind of important!) + holocom?
Text stuff which needs to be written:
- Fill up the DXI email accounts
- Fill up the GameSpy email accounts
- Update relevant M22 mail accounts (PDX and Scara - DXO?)
okay, thanks a lot for the help Trest, I'll give 'em a quick test myself and then ship them off to Yardie.
Jonas Wæver
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
- Trestkon
- Off Topic Productions
- Posts: 2820
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 9:03 pm
- Location: Canada
- Contact:
Feeback on the awesome 'n00bz' quest that Jonas slaved on until the wee hours of the morning:
- The PM from Phas says that your 'test will be...' I think 'task' would sound better
- It says that the Firewall is at the sout checkpoint, but isn't it more of the east checkpoint? Or perhaps it should just say it's the checkpoint SouthEast of your current position.
- I love the radish line!
- Trestkon's 'With violence.' line rocks.
- When you choose the direct violence approach, the firewall refuses to awknoledge that you completed the mission.
- When Kale is talking about going to the mall where loosers hang out, Trestkon says that sounds like a 'satisfactory solution', I think 'appropriate solution' would be funnier.
- At one point in the peaceful convo tree Kale says they'll be gone in 15 minutes, but his barks say 20
- The following choices result in the entire convo tree resetting: Kale isn't a noob -> We'll see how the gang feels about that -> Kale: Don't be an ass -> convo resets.
- I'm not sure about this one, but maybe consider putting the gang closer? Perhaps just behind the Kastle.
- One of the first lines from the n00b members is 'Yeah but dude...', I think there should be a comma after 'Yeah'
-Trestkon tells the n00bs that he'll have to go 'nazi' on them. I'm not sure that's appropriate, but maybe I'm just overly sensitive.
- If I kill the gang and then go talk to Kale, there's no option to just tell him that I murdered his gang.
- For all of the convos I'm forced to walk back to the Firewall. Taking into account what Gelo was talking about, I think it would be nice to have instant confirmation that you've completed the mission. Perhaps that's not needed when you just convince them to go, but if you kill them I think an infolink would be appropriate.
Summary: This mission rocks and will be a perfect first experiance for the player, awesome job, Jonas
- The PM from Phas says that your 'test will be...' I think 'task' would sound better
- It says that the Firewall is at the sout checkpoint, but isn't it more of the east checkpoint? Or perhaps it should just say it's the checkpoint SouthEast of your current position.
- I love the radish line!
- Trestkon's 'With violence.' line rocks.
- When you choose the direct violence approach, the firewall refuses to awknoledge that you completed the mission.
- When Kale is talking about going to the mall where loosers hang out, Trestkon says that sounds like a 'satisfactory solution', I think 'appropriate solution' would be funnier.
- At one point in the peaceful convo tree Kale says they'll be gone in 15 minutes, but his barks say 20
- The following choices result in the entire convo tree resetting: Kale isn't a noob -> We'll see how the gang feels about that -> Kale: Don't be an ass -> convo resets.
- I'm not sure about this one, but maybe consider putting the gang closer? Perhaps just behind the Kastle.
- One of the first lines from the n00b members is 'Yeah but dude...', I think there should be a comma after 'Yeah'
-Trestkon tells the n00bs that he'll have to go 'nazi' on them. I'm not sure that's appropriate, but maybe I'm just overly sensitive.
- If I kill the gang and then go talk to Kale, there's no option to just tell him that I murdered his gang.
- For all of the convos I'm forced to walk back to the Firewall. Taking into account what Gelo was talking about, I think it would be nice to have instant confirmation that you've completed the mission. Perhaps that's not needed when you just convince them to go, but if you kill them I think an infolink would be appropriate.
Summary: This mission rocks and will be a perfect first experiance for the player, awesome job, Jonas
-Life does not snap to the x-axis
Heh, this PM was actually crafted after a very long and all too detailed discussion with Shane (who seems to fancy himself a semi-designer ), and I promise you that the word test was carefully chosen. Unless you insist that it should be replaced, it staysTrestkon wrote:- The PM from Phas says that your 'test will be...' I think 'task' would sound better
Good idea, I'll change that.- It says that the Firewall is at the sout checkpoint, but isn't it more of the east checkpoint? Or perhaps it should just say it's the checkpoint SouthEast of your current position.
Heheh, glad you like it.- I love the radish line!
- Trestkon's 'With violence.' line rocks.
Yeah, I realized after I'd gone to bed that this solution wouldn't work until we've added some things to the mission script, because we need to set the flag "N00Bz_Dead" when all 7 gang members have been killed. I'll coordinate with Shane.- When you choose the direct violence approach, the firewall refuses to awknoledge that you completed the mission.
Roger that, will change.- When Kale is talking about going to the mall where loosers hang out, Trestkon says that sounds like a 'satisfactory solution', I think 'appropriate solution' would be funnier.
Oh, well caught, must have been the 4 am thing- At one point in the peaceful convo tree Kale says they'll be gone in 15 minutes, but his barks say 20
That's... odd. I'll see if I can figure out why it does that.- The following choices result in the entire convo tree resetting: Kale isn't a noob -> We'll see how the gang feels about that -> Kale: Don't be an ass -> convo resets.
Well, the reason it's all the way back there is because I want to make use of the nice sneakadelic shadows in those alleys. Although if the walking gets to you, it's a very easy fix, no problem.- I'm not sure about this one, but maybe consider putting the gang closer? Perhaps just behind the Kastle.
Done.- One of the first lines from the n00b members is 'Yeah but dude...', I think there should be a comma after 'Yeah'
I think you are-Trestkon tells the n00bs that he'll have to go 'nazi' on them. I'm not sure that's appropriate, but maybe I'm just overly sensitive.
We can get a third opinion though. This seems like a good time for some design by committee. Of course, if you ultimately decide that you can't say this line without whincing, it's gone.
Again, that's the lack of a mission script, the option is actually in there, we just need to set the right flag when all 7 gang members are dead. Hm, it occurs to me that we should tell the player how many N00Bz there are, I'll put that in somewhere in the Firewall briefing.- If I kill the gang and then go talk to Kale, there's no option to just tell him that I murdered his gang.
Yep, that sounds like a good idea. I'll write a PM from the Firewall agent.- For all of the convos I'm forced to walk back to the Firewall. Taking into account what Gelo was talking about, I think it would be nice to have instant confirmation that you've completed the mission. Perhaps that's not needed when you just convince them to go, but if you kill them I think an infolink would be appropriate.
Thanks for the help, Trest, you've saved me loads of testing
Thank heavens for boring lab reports!
Jonas Wæver
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
okay, after replicating the convo-resetting bug in-game, I realized I'd just forgot to change the invocation properties of his subsequents so they would play more than once. Should work now
Once Shane gets back from NWN, I'll ask him to set up the functions that set the flag when all the N00Bz are dead and call the PM's when the mission is completed, and then I'll set Kale to bImportant=True so his death will actually be identified by the game
Then everything should work.
Once Shane gets back from NWN, I'll ask him to set up the functions that set the flag when all the N00Bz are dead and call the PM's when the mission is completed, and then I'll set Kale to bImportant=True so his death will actually be identified by the game
Then everything should work.
Jonas Wæver
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
Guys I need your input on bug 418 please
Jonas Wæver
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
Hmmm... it could happen when Slicer breaks out. Which he does just prior to mission 21.
Jonas Wæver
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
- Trestkon
- Off Topic Productions
- Posts: 2820
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 9:03 pm
- Location: Canada
- Contact:
Note to Jonas in the CompudocGreeting convo, we changed
"Don't worry, I don't want to kill you. We've been doing our best to follow your activities, and we don't think we have a reason not to trust you. Please don't prove us wrong. As long as you behave, you're safe here."
to
"Don't worry, I don't want to kill you. We've been doing our best to follow your activities, and we don't think we have any reason not to trust you. Please don't prove us wrong. As long as you behave, you're safe here."
A small change, but it makes it easier to read and sounds better.
"Don't worry, I don't want to kill you. We've been doing our best to follow your activities, and we don't think we have a reason not to trust you. Please don't prove us wrong. As long as you behave, you're safe here."
to
"Don't worry, I don't want to kill you. We've been doing our best to follow your activities, and we don't think we have any reason not to trust you. Please don't prove us wrong. As long as you behave, you're safe here."
A small change, but it makes it easier to read and sounds better.
Last edited by Trestkon on Mon Sep 10, 2007 11:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
-Life does not snap to the x-axis
Kewl, changed in the text.
Jonas Wæver
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
- Trestkon
- Off Topic Productions
- Posts: 2820
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 9:03 pm
- Location: Canada
- Contact:
Jonas, not sure if I gave these to you, but here's a few Nosferatu rewrites by Edwyn:
*Nosferatu: "Foolish mortal! You were warned, now you will be subject to my wrath!"
Mission20\Nosferatu\NosferatuGreeting\Nosferatu09.mp3
*Nosferatu: "This is like... a Happy Meal with legs, no?"
Barks\Nosferatu\Nosferatu_BarkAreaSecure\Nosferatu03.mp3
*Nosferatu: "What would old Dracula think of me now?"
Barks\Nosferatu\Nosferatu_BarkCriticalDamage\Nosferatu03.mp3
*Nosferatu: "Excuse me, but have you not heard of "manners", perchance?"
Barks\Nosferatu\Nosferatu_BarkFutz\Nosferatu02.mp3
*Nosferatu: "Foolish mortal! You were warned, now you will be subject to my wrath!"
Mission20\Nosferatu\NosferatuGreeting\Nosferatu09.mp3
*Nosferatu: "This is like... a Happy Meal with legs, no?"
Barks\Nosferatu\Nosferatu_BarkAreaSecure\Nosferatu03.mp3
*Nosferatu: "What would old Dracula think of me now?"
Barks\Nosferatu\Nosferatu_BarkCriticalDamage\Nosferatu03.mp3
*Nosferatu: "Excuse me, but have you not heard of "manners", perchance?"
Barks\Nosferatu\Nosferatu_BarkFutz\Nosferatu02.mp3
-Life does not snap to the x-axis
- Trestkon
- Off Topic Productions
- Posts: 2820
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 9:03 pm
- Location: Canada
- Contact:
Excellent convo additions, your the the master of ConEdit I can barely make sense of your intricate web of flags and jumps :p
Here's my suggestions. Red = Addition, Yellow = Recommended deletion
- PhasDebriefing_WCSpyware -
"Kashue tells me you performed pretty well."
"There's a lot of tension. Several gangs are vying for control of our more scarcely patrolled districts, but thankfully they aren't very well organized. It's only a matter of time before Scara or DXO make their move though - without Deus' help, there's not much we could do to stop a force like WorldCorp from taking over if they tried."
"If that happens I hope you won't hold back like you did tonight."
"You could've sent him a pretty powerful message tonight by not pulling any punches. We have to show Scara that he can't count on superior numbers alone to take this city." Note: My change can definitely be improved upon, but it sounded a bit odd the way you originally had it.
"I pretty much just decimated Scara's security force though." I suggest a change to: "That seems unlikely, considering I pretty much just decimated his entire security force." Note: I'm not sure this line makes total sense. Phas just told you that it wasn't the security force that was the problem, but his secret para-military men, yet Trestkon seems to have totally ignored that comment.
"So I heard. Evil gave me all the gory details. Kashue isn't very impressed, but I think you sent a nice clear message to Scara tonight. We're outnumbered against WorldCorp's resources, so we have to rely on the talents of particularly gifted individuals. Hopefully Scara will think twice about moving against us now." Note: Using the same word twice in a sentence sounds odd.
"He was that hard on you? Well I think you did a terrific job, so how about I hand you some assault gun clips and a LAM as a little bonus? Just don't tell KK about it." Note: Is it necessarily true that you would have talked to Kashue before talking to Phas?
I was also glancing at the PhasKillmission convo and suggest changing:
"Oh, he will? So how much has he let you know so far?"
to
"Oh, he will? So what has he let you know so far?
Here's my suggestions. Red = Addition, Yellow = Recommended deletion
- PhasDebriefing_WCSpyware -
"Kashue tells me you performed pretty well."
"There's a lot of tension. Several gangs are vying for control of our more scarcely patrolled districts, but thankfully they aren't very well organized. It's only a matter of time before Scara or DXO make their move though - without Deus' help, there's not much we could do to stop a force like WorldCorp from taking over if they tried."
"If that happens I hope you won't hold back like you did tonight."
"You could've sent him a pretty powerful message tonight by not pulling any punches. We have to show Scara that he can't count on superior numbers alone to take this city." Note: My change can definitely be improved upon, but it sounded a bit odd the way you originally had it.
"I pretty much just decimated Scara's security force though." I suggest a change to: "That seems unlikely, considering I pretty much just decimated his entire security force." Note: I'm not sure this line makes total sense. Phas just told you that it wasn't the security force that was the problem, but his secret para-military men, yet Trestkon seems to have totally ignored that comment.
"So I heard. Evil gave me all the gory details. Kashue isn't very impressed, but I think you sent a nice clear message to Scara tonight. We're outnumbered against WorldCorp's resources, so we have to rely on the talents of particularly gifted individuals. Hopefully Scara will think twice about moving against us now." Note: Using the same word twice in a sentence sounds odd.
"He was that hard on you? Well I think you did a terrific job, so how about I hand you some assault gun clips and a LAM as a little bonus? Just don't tell KK about it." Note: Is it necessarily true that you would have talked to Kashue before talking to Phas?
I was also glancing at the PhasKillmission convo and suggest changing:
"Oh, he will? So how much has he let you know so far?"
to
"Oh, he will? So what has he let you know so far?
-Life does not snap to the x-axis