An honest review of TNM
Moderator: TNM Team
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An honest review of TNM
Now really guys, I've been lurking around these forums for a while now, and I've noticed a great deal of comments about the mod like "OMG, its the best thing eva!!!" and "Jonas rockorz my boxorz" and whatever, so I'm going to set the record straight. Because really, is TNM that good?
The answer: No. It really isn't.
But to prove my point without a shadow of a doubt, let's look into a few of the more detailed gameplay elements:
1) The unreal engine.
It sucks guys. Really. It does. Its old, out of date, the AI is crap, the textures are awful and the models look like playdough blobs with eyes and mouths that move like a spastic monkey. I mean, look at Halo. Why didn't you guys use Halo as an engine, huh? Its just so much better than Deus Ex ever was.
2) Trestkon.
Okay, what is with this guy? Firstly, his name is the most retarded name I've ever seen EVER, and secondly, he's such a pansy. I don't want to be playing through 15 hours of a mod with a wishy washy character. Give him some balls, PLEASE.
3) The voice acting.
Now, while you guys went on and on about the voice acting, is it really that good? Answer: Hell no. Most of the voice acting sounds like its been done by 10 year olds with speech impediments. And I had to give up most of my bandwidth for these guys and they're just bad. Awful. I literally mute the game every time someone starts speaking, or kill them as soon as they look in my direction. I hate them that much.
4) The release dates.
I mean come on guys, I wanted this game five years ago, why wasn't it released? The team are lazy, that's why. Lazy. They've done nothing over the last 7 years, and its showed. I mean, I might as well have just gone to Deus Ex, taken all the models, maps, characters and conversation out of the game and replaced them all with a single untextured box room with two guys yelling something about sporks and I would've got the same result.
5) Goats and llamas.
Now, I'm not one to judge, but if the creators of this mod are that obsessed with goats and llamas, please, go get some help. I don't want to be exposed to your weird animal fetishes any more than I want to hear about Jonas' gastrointestinal issues. And believe me, I really don't want to know about those. So, I don't know what sporks and foons are, but please, the less of it that pollutes my computer the better.
6) Humour.
Okay, while this mod tries to be funny, its not. Let's just get that straight. That shit with the jumping puzzle WASN'T FUNNY. I threw my laptop at my wall because of that, and now I'm out $50,000 because I broke a priceless painting in my room and accidentally insulted my neighbours mother as I yelled profanities at the computer and now have to pay damages. Not funny. At all.
7) Length.
Have the game developers learned nothing about being short and to the point? Why do I have to play the entire game when the Wiki is just RIGHT THERE for me to use. I mean, I learned about it afterwards and now I don't have to put up with the 15 hour game and that whining annoying voice acting to understand what the hell was going on. I mean, 500 words compared to 15 HOURS? What would you pick? That's right, the words.
The 15 hours of the game was a CHORE. God, I don't know why I kept going with it.
8) Randomness.
Okay, I'm all for a little randomness, but this mod is not only decidedly un-funny, its also downright random to the point of stupidity.
I mean really, a vampire in a garage? A phat-rifle? Random weirdos quoting gibberish at me? Pants? God, its just too random.
9) Easter Eggs.
Why have Easter Eggs at all? I mean seriously, all they do is add another shallow level of unnecessary...ness to the game that shouldn't be there from the beginning. I don't want the counter taking up my screen space, and I don't want to have to follow the developers' sordid sense of humour perforate its way onto my computer. I had enough of that with the bloody foon, sporks and some random crap about pants.
Frankly, I think TNM is the biggest waste of download limit I've ever had the misfortune of using. Even more than that 50GB porno I downloaded the other month that turned out to be a six hour continuous rickroll.
And I wouldn't have it any other way :).
The answer: No. It really isn't.
But to prove my point without a shadow of a doubt, let's look into a few of the more detailed gameplay elements:
1) The unreal engine.
It sucks guys. Really. It does. Its old, out of date, the AI is crap, the textures are awful and the models look like playdough blobs with eyes and mouths that move like a spastic monkey. I mean, look at Halo. Why didn't you guys use Halo as an engine, huh? Its just so much better than Deus Ex ever was.
2) Trestkon.
Okay, what is with this guy? Firstly, his name is the most retarded name I've ever seen EVER, and secondly, he's such a pansy. I don't want to be playing through 15 hours of a mod with a wishy washy character. Give him some balls, PLEASE.
3) The voice acting.
Now, while you guys went on and on about the voice acting, is it really that good? Answer: Hell no. Most of the voice acting sounds like its been done by 10 year olds with speech impediments. And I had to give up most of my bandwidth for these guys and they're just bad. Awful. I literally mute the game every time someone starts speaking, or kill them as soon as they look in my direction. I hate them that much.
4) The release dates.
I mean come on guys, I wanted this game five years ago, why wasn't it released? The team are lazy, that's why. Lazy. They've done nothing over the last 7 years, and its showed. I mean, I might as well have just gone to Deus Ex, taken all the models, maps, characters and conversation out of the game and replaced them all with a single untextured box room with two guys yelling something about sporks and I would've got the same result.
5) Goats and llamas.
Now, I'm not one to judge, but if the creators of this mod are that obsessed with goats and llamas, please, go get some help. I don't want to be exposed to your weird animal fetishes any more than I want to hear about Jonas' gastrointestinal issues. And believe me, I really don't want to know about those. So, I don't know what sporks and foons are, but please, the less of it that pollutes my computer the better.
6) Humour.
Okay, while this mod tries to be funny, its not. Let's just get that straight. That shit with the jumping puzzle WASN'T FUNNY. I threw my laptop at my wall because of that, and now I'm out $50,000 because I broke a priceless painting in my room and accidentally insulted my neighbours mother as I yelled profanities at the computer and now have to pay damages. Not funny. At all.
7) Length.
Have the game developers learned nothing about being short and to the point? Why do I have to play the entire game when the Wiki is just RIGHT THERE for me to use. I mean, I learned about it afterwards and now I don't have to put up with the 15 hour game and that whining annoying voice acting to understand what the hell was going on. I mean, 500 words compared to 15 HOURS? What would you pick? That's right, the words.
The 15 hours of the game was a CHORE. God, I don't know why I kept going with it.
8) Randomness.
Okay, I'm all for a little randomness, but this mod is not only decidedly un-funny, its also downright random to the point of stupidity.
I mean really, a vampire in a garage? A phat-rifle? Random weirdos quoting gibberish at me? Pants? God, its just too random.
9) Easter Eggs.
Why have Easter Eggs at all? I mean seriously, all they do is add another shallow level of unnecessary...ness to the game that shouldn't be there from the beginning. I don't want the counter taking up my screen space, and I don't want to have to follow the developers' sordid sense of humour perforate its way onto my computer. I had enough of that with the bloody foon, sporks and some random crap about pants.
Frankly, I think TNM is the biggest waste of download limit I've ever had the misfortune of using. Even more than that 50GB porno I downloaded the other month that turned out to be a six hour continuous rickroll.
And I wouldn't have it any other way :).
Re: An honest review of TNM
I....I...don't really know what the purpose of this is.
I'm assuming spoof, but...well, since the number of negative reviews has been..fairly low: what's it actually spoofing?
Confused.
I'm assuming spoof, but...well, since the number of negative reviews has been..fairly low: what's it actually spoofing?
Confused.
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- UNATCO
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Re: An honest review of TNM
- quite funny actually.I threw my laptop at my wall because of that, and now I'm out $50,000 because I broke a priceless painting in my room and accidentally insulted my neighbours mother as I yelled profanities at the computer and now have to pay damages. Not funny. At all.
http://www.heavyjack.com - Quality Programming ~ Entertainment, News, Reviews, Games and Sports TV with an emphasis on the HEAVY JACK.
Re: An honest review of TNM
There was a jumping puzzle?
The post does seem like some form of satire. And really, the game is about an internet forum, if you don't know geek culture, you won't get the jokes, hell I'm supernedy, and I only got like half of em
Also the spork/foon thing is an awesome dig at religion, I find it quite amusing
The post does seem like some form of satire. And really, the game is about an internet forum, if you don't know geek culture, you won't get the jokes, hell I'm supernedy, and I only got like half of em
Also the spork/foon thing is an awesome dig at religion, I find it quite amusing
"Delays are temporary; mediocrity is forever."
odio ergo sum
odio ergo sum
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Re: An honest review of TNM
a few jumping puzzles that I remember - none of them really all that hellish, just tried and true jumping puzzles in an FPS game. Kinda fun considering I don't see to much of it anymore.Jaedar wrote:There was a jumping puzzle?
The post does seem like some form of satire. And really, the game is about an internet forum, if you don't know geek culture, you won't get the jokes, hell I'm supernedy, and I only got like half of em
Also the spork/foon thing is an awesome dig at religion, I find it quite amusing
Fortunately for myself I have 10 years invested in learning the "geek" culture of internet forums and found most of the humour in the game spot on.
http://www.heavyjack.com - Quality Programming ~ Entertainment, News, Reviews, Games and Sports TV with an emphasis on the HEAVY JACK.
- bananaSkill
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Re: An honest review of TNM
that would be mesounds like its been done by 10 year olds with speech impediments
Re: An honest review of TNM
Oh, I wasn't spoofing. I was deadly serious .DDL wrote:I....I...don't really know what the purpose of this is.
I'm assuming spoof, but...well, since the number of negative reviews has been..fairly low: what's it actually spoofing?
Confused.
Well, it was more an imitation of some of the Youtube comments that have come up around TNM. They're all along the lines of "OMG IT LOOKS BAD SO YOU SUCK", and without the majority of the people playing the mod enough to understand what its about or indeed how good it is. I wanted to write something positive, and since there's so many positive reviews out there I didn't want to inflate their egos any more than they already are:D.
Re: An honest review of TNM
To be honest I think you're reading to much into it. I don't think there's any special message behind the goat/lama cult. I think it's just for the sake of silliness. However I could be wrong, but thats just the impression I got. TNM wasn't meant to be a soapbox for the developers opinions about the world.Jaedar wrote:Also the spork/foon thing is an awesome dig at religion, I find it quite amusing
Re: An honest review of TNM
Well reading to much into things is what starts fanaticism in the first place. Don't you see it's a conspiracy!
"Delays are temporary; mediocrity is forever."
odio ergo sum
odio ergo sum
Re: An honest review of TNM
Fanaticism and Theos Ek articles! http://theosek.sitesled.com/alexdentonhologram.htmlJaedar wrote:Well reading to much into things is what starts fanaticism in the first place. Don't you see it's a conspiracy!
- teknikal
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Re: An honest review of TNM
Hahahaha, yeah that's a little too much depth... Reminds me of how crazy artists try to pin some deep meaning and artisitc commentary onto what is essentially a canvas painted white or splashed with paint.Jcelios wrote:To be honest I think you're reading to much into it. I don't think there's any special message behind the goat/lama cult. I think it's just for the sake of silliness. However I could be wrong, but thats just the impression I got. TNM wasn't meant to be a soapbox for the developers opinions about the world.Jaedar wrote:Also the spork/foon thing is an awesome dig at religion, I find it quite amusing
Sporks and foons = just awesome hilarity for the sake of it.
Oh man which reminds me... our supermarkets give out (if you buy avocados) plastic spoons that have a plastic knife on the other end where the handle should be. Deadly.
What is that?! A Spife or a knoon? *imagines the board room where they dream these crazy utensils up* It boggles the mind.
teknikal's gallery: http://teknikal-vision.deviantart.com/
We are the future. Better than kings... gods!
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We are the future. Better than kings... gods!
>come join DXFC: The Church of JC: http://deus-ex-fan-club.deviantart.com/
Re: An honest review of TNM
I have a dream of the future in which we all use knoons.
And the flying cars, don't forget about them.
Actually I'd settle just for some mature nanotechnology before I........... go into cryo-storage.
(What you think I'm going to die? Hahahaha fools!)
And the flying cars, don't forget about them.
Actually I'd settle just for some mature nanotechnology before I........... go into cryo-storage.
(What you think I'm going to die? Hahahaha fools!)
Re: An honest review of TNM
Nanotech knoons. The ultimate weapon.
Jonas Wæver
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
Chief Poking Manager of TNM
I've made some videogames:
Expeditions: Rome
Expeditions: Viking
Expeditions: Conquistador
Clandestine
Re: An honest review of TNM
Self Replicating Nanotech knoons.Jonas wrote:Nanotech knoons. The ultimate weapon.
Unless that was implied.
In that case.
Von Neumann* Nanotech knoons that are self aware.
WHAT THEN?
*As a fancier way of saying self replicating.
- Arnaud G. Vasquez
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Re: An honest review of TNM
What I truly admire is neither a spife nor a knoon - but a sporfe! Consider Hobbes' description of the ingenious creation to Silver Dragon in the Llama temple - simply a marvelous thing.teknikal wrote:What is that?! A Spife or a knoon?
Behold the actual terror here and shudder.
I'm pretty confident in everything from the neck up.