Kids or No Kids to the Wedding

[CashiWaku]

This is something that I am REALLY struggling with. Our wedding is not until June of 2024 so we have a little time to iron it out. We provided a rough # to our venue and I realize that it doesn't need to be 100% final right this second, but later this summer when we intend on sending out our save the date announcements we need to be certain. We wanted to stay in the bracket of 65-80 guests, that keeps our venue at ~9k which is a number we are comfortable with.

My fiance's list is rather small ~15 people, I come from a larger and pretty close family with a decent amount of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Out of my cousins I am the 2nd youngest, the only one after me is my own younger sibling. I've been going to all their weddings ever since I was 16. Here we are 10 years later and I'll be making my trip down the aisle. In those 10 years my older cousins have entered the parent stage of life. When I sat down and looked, there is a potential of there being 21 children under the age of 10 at the time of our wedding. Making our number over 100. That bumps our venue price up 3k. The only kids that won't count are children under 3, and there will only be a few under the age of 3. I feel like spending an additional 3k for my little cousins to be there isn't financially responsible. We don't want to put ourselves in a bind financially just to include all my cousins children. Everyone has those opinionated family members, and if I make this decision, I am afraid my skin isn't thick enough to handle possible backlash. I'm also slightly concerned about 21 kids being in the background of everything? I don't know of the kids being troublemakers but weddings aren't something you attend everyday as a kid, uncomfy clothes, strange places, people you might not know, etc.

Family is super important to me but I just feel so torn. I don't want to take on the financial burden because I'm one of their youngest relatives, but that's a lot of kiddos. I don't know how I feel about there being more of my younger relatives, than the number of people my fiance is inviting? Then add in the grumbles, complaints, and whatnot from family members who aren't happy they can't bring their kids? I have support from my parents, and my fiance with however we decide to do this. I just can't help but stress over this detail.

[DamonMoral]

One thing to consider might be whether or not any of your family members have specific circumstances that make it harder for them to attend without their children. For example, as a Foster Plus parent myself, I know that sometimes it can be difficult to find childcare for a sick child, so that might be something to take into account. Ultimately, though, I think it's important to remember that this is your wedding day, and you and your fiance should make the decision that feels right for you. It's impossible to please everyone, and while some family members might be upset, I'm sure they'll understand if you explain your reasoning.

[bekean]

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